It made no sense
for me to respond to someone who had rejected me. That seemed weak. Why would my ex's behavior change if I was doing the ineffective things that most people do? Things I was doing before she left me. There should be one major reason why she left me. Not just "the spark is gone" or "we changed", but an actual, measurable parameter that shifted, that broke
. And that can be fixed
And subconsciously, I thought that weak behavior
might be one of the reasons why she left me. I analyzed the time-lapse of my relationship and realized that in the beginning, I had been in a strong position. She loved me, she was more emotionally invested, and she cared. But then, as time went by, I gradually became too accessible, too approachable
- I focused on "building" the relationship instead of letting it grow naturally.
- It was me who needed this relationship more than my couple.
- It was I who made peace talks after every conflict.
According to most of the coaches, the fact that we started to have conflicts was okay. "It's a normal part of any relationship", I heard. No, it's not."NO, IT'S NOT"
, something inside of my head screamed. Life should not be like that. And it was not. Some turning point
along the way had changed everything
. From a strong position, I had shifted to a weaker one – a position of anxiety, vulnerability, and jealousy.
But it's a long story. I spent two years practicing and researching. It was a hard journey.
In the end, I found this mysterious hidden parameter
– the real reasons why breakups happen.
I called it The Power Balance™