The secret method to check if your no contact is working

By Savva Smith
Entrepreneur, Coach


Provoking Your Ex During No Contact - The Right Way


You will learn:

The controversial method to test if your no contact is working
One time-tested working example of a provocation
It is usually not recommended by relationship coaches to provoke your former partner after a breakup. And we do not really recommend doing it either. But...you can still do it, if you have enough courage. In fact, using the method I'll describe you will be able to check the emotional state of your ex.

The usual arguments of those who forbid you to provoke your ex are:
It will look like you're still hurt and just showing off
It won't look natural
It's for the immature
There's no point in doing it
But we do not really care about the general approach - we enjoy creativity, and are sure that relationships without little games are boring. So, we'll have some fun.

Your own secret 'ping' to test your ex

man in a suit spying through binoculars
Obviously, if your loved one left you and went on an adventure, you are most likely hurt and vulnerable. It's normal...but you're not a victim anymore. This era was over since the moment you opened this website. If you feel that your no contact is boring, and if you want to do a small, innocent joke that can only improve the situation a little bit (though is not required for your no contact to be efficient), you can do it. And here's how:
1. Check yourself:
Do you want to conduct an experiment and test your no contact - or, in reality, just wish to contact your ex? Provocations are probably not a good idea if you still struggle with the desire to text or call your ex. A perfect provocation is done when you're calm and playful.
2. Treat the provocation like your own, hidden "ping" message.
Ping messages are used by your ex to test your availability. "How are you?", "I miss you" that you occasionally receive during no contact - all these messages do not mean anything in most cases. They are just ways to check if you're still there. Sometimes, exes who are stubborn use "hidden" pings - they might post photos with your gifts, or post hundreds of photos with their new, "successful life" just to provoke you into breaking no contact and sending them a message.

Guess what: we have something in our arsenal as well. And it will help us determine the emotional state of your ex. Keep in mind that we should be very careful using this technique. It's not reconnaissance, it's more of a covert operation. It can only be used once or twice during your entire no contact.

How to check your ex's emotional state during no contact

Brunette girl thinking pointing her finger at her head

We have to be creative. We have to know every detail of your situation to plan something unique and effective which is usually possible only after an online consultation. It's not an easy task.

But here's a quick and simple example that (even despite its simplicity) can be very effective:

Wait a couple of weeks after your ex's last ping (preferably, a month).
Go visit a cafe and take a picture of yourself. There should be two cups of coffee on the table near you.
Your photo shouldn't have anyone else in it except yourself.

You can ask your friend to take this picture...or even a waiter.

Do not hint that you've "moved on" or "got a new partner". No. Just two cups of coffee, and your beautiful face, smiling.
Post it.

That's it. But what to expect next?

How to read your ex during no contact

Stunning brunette girl looking through blinds spying
You're not doing a provocation to expect something as a result. You're busy focusing on your new, free life, shifting your emotional focus away from your past relationship, recovering and improving, just like any of my subscribers. Only a professional can transcript your ex's response to a provocation and estimate their no contact stage.

Good news: below is a short checklist that will improve your knowledge and help you make such an analysis yourself. Typical reactions include (might occur almost instantly, or - after weeks or even months of our escapade, depending on the stage of their no contact):
Some "I hate you" messages
Some "I am sorry, let's talk" messages
Hidden pings like additional posts on social media with their "new life without you" or calls to your friends or relatives asking how are you doing.
Those are just pings and you are free to ignore them. They indicate that your ex is most likely on the stage of no contact where they're angry because they're losing control over you.
Complete silence.
Usually, silence is an argument in favor of them being extremely stubborn - or just simply participating in a rebound. In the first case, relax and expect a ping after a few months. In the second case, relax - the reaction will likely follow after their rebound eventually crashes.

Please, do not be shocked if you get instant results. The fact is, in most cases, they're curious about your life. They expect you to be sad, and to be alone. To crave their attention. When they receive a message or call from you, it boosts their self-esteem. And they need it. But when they understand that you're not under their spell anymore, they get even more curious about what's going on. And then, they start checking your social media. At first, they will not notice anything...But then..."What is this, a second cup? They are supposed to be alone. Oh come on, it's just a cup of coffee with a friend...or not!?".

What if my ex will think that I've moved on

Man and woman sit on the top of the mountain together
This is exactly why we're not posting anything which indicates your current status. We're causing doubt, and when it comes to relationships, doubt can be very powerful. Just remember yourself when they came late after their job saying "I had to work some extra hours - my boss Alex insisted we'll do it together" for the first time, or started visiting clubs with their friends.

Use your creativity, but do not overdo it. Remember: it's just a small game you can play during no contact to test the emotional state of your ex. But this game is not required for your no contact to be efficient.

Stay strong. Become stronger.


Key Points

There's an advanced technique to check how your ex's doing during a no contact - we call it "provocations". Keep in mind that 99% of online coaches have no experience using it.
Do not try to implement a provocation if you're anxious or nervous, it will not look natural.
Only a professional can read your ex's response to a provocation and determine their emotional state.
A good provocation might reduce the timelapse of your no contact (if you want to get your ex back). A poor provocation can harm your no contact.