This Is How Your Ex Hooked You Up (Contrast Of Emotions)

Savva Smith
Entrepreneur, Coach


Uncovering The Manipulative Techniques Used By Your Ex


You will learn:

How they keep you emotionally invested in the relationship
Key indications of manipulation tactics such as utilizing anticipation and the emotional contrast method
Remember your past relationship? Your ex would make plans and suggest dates, building up your hopes and dreams for a future together. However, just as you were getting excited about what was to come, your ex would cancel those plans at the last minute, leaving you feeling disappointed and questioning your own behavior.

What if I told you that this was all part of their grand design, a calculated move in their masterful use of the contrast of emotions technique?

The art of creating emotions

man sitting on a sofa surprised by the message in his mobile phone
The contrast of emotions technique creates a sense of uncertainty and emotional attachment. Your partner keeps you on your toes by alternating between warm and cold behaviors. You're constantly thinking about them. It's especially effective when applied in long-distance relationships.

For example, they might send many messages one day and then be completely silent the next. Or, they give you a lot of compliments, making you feel on top of the world. However, in a matter of days, their behavior changes drastically. They become distant and cold. They no longer give you the attention and validation that you were once accustomed to. Sometimes, they might even start criticizing you for every little mistake you make.

All of this can make you wonder what's going on and if you did something wrong. This creates an emotional response in you, as you question your own behavior and try to understand what might have caused the change in your partner's behavior. As a result, an emotional attachment is created. Yes, it's that simple.

Illusion of missed opportunities in your past relationship

a sad woman on a bench looks into her mobile phone

When they cancel plans or become distant, it creates a sense of missed opportunity. You may start to question what could have been and wonder if you'll ever have the chance to experience it again.

This sense of missed opportunity can make you more invested in the relationship and more likely to put in the effort to make things work. It makes you think about all the things they could have experienced if things had gone differently and creates a sense of longing for more. Do you remember the thought "I have to try harder to make things right" which appeared in your mind out of nowhere?

How to counter manipulative behavior

a man packs his belongings into a box his ex sits on a couch in the background
There is a fine line between being playful and being emotionally manipulative. Your ex may have used the contrast of emotions technique as a tool for control, not connection. They used it as a means to control your emotions, and make you feel uncertain and emotionally attached to them, but it was all part of their own selfish agenda. This type of behavior is not healthy and it's important for you to recognize it as such.

The best way to counter manipulative behavior is to disengage. It's a recommended approach. The only alternative is to use some heavy artillery in response. Is it possible to win the game of manipulation? It's a challenging task, but we can get it done. But it's always better to find those who will be honest with you, and who will truly value you.

Be wary of those who play with your emotions, and remember that true love and connection are built on trust, honesty, and respect. Don't let anyone use these kinds of techniques to control or hurt you again.


Key Points

The events that occur between you and your partner are not always as straightforward as you might think
The contrast of emotions technique which includes alternating between warm and cold behavior can be used to create uncertainty and emotional attachment
One of the best ways to counter manipulative behavior is to disengage
If you can't disengage, you'll find yourself constantly having to defend yourself, possibly on a daily basis