Why do you need to get your ex back?

Most people who get their ex back enjoy the following benefits right away. They get to:

Yes, it is usually so bad. But can you avoid this fate? Of course. Let me explain.

Most people who try to get their exes back end up being left behind again. This is because they don't approach the situation from a position of strength, and they don't take the time to understand the underlying reasons for the breakup or divorce.

Instead, they act out of desperation and fear, and they try to win their ex back by any means necessary. They might try to make their ex jealous by posting pictures with other people, or they might try to win them over with grand gestures like flowers and gifts. They might even try to guilt their ex into giving them another chance by playing the victim and blaming their ex for all the problems in the relationship.

But this approach rarely works, and it usually just ends up pushing their ex even further away. This is because their ex can sense their desperation and insecurity, and they don't want to be with someone who is weak and needy. So, if you really want to get your ex back, you need to approach the situation with confidence and self-respect. Only then will you have a chance of making things work again.

The only way to get your ex back is by restoring the power balance. This means taking a step back and giving your ex some space and time to miss you. This is where the no contact method or the ignoring strategy come in. By cutting off all communication with your ex, you're forcing them to face the reality of life without you, and you're giving them a chance to miss you and realize what they're missing out on. This can be a difficult and painful process, but it's the only way to make your ex see that they need you in their life. It's also the only way to make your ex realize that you're not going to be there for them whenever they want you. You have your own life to live, and you're not going to waste it chasing after someone who doesn't want you. So, if you really want to get your ex back, you need to be strong, confident, and independent. Only then will you have a chance of making things work again.

In some cases, it's not possible to cut off all communication with your ex. For example, if you work together or have children together, you'll need to maintain some level of communication. In these cases, the solution is to use distancing. This means keeping your interactions with your ex as brief and professional as possible, and focusing on the tasks at hand rather than trying to rekindle your relationship. It also means setting boundaries and sticking to them, so that your ex knows that you're not going to be there for them whenever they want you. It's the most difficult and uncomfortable process.

To give you more precise recommendations, I need to know more about your situation.

When my ex left me 7 years ago, the advice I received from everyone was to "move on".

The problem with breakups is that our biology makes it physically impossible for us to tolerate the idea of our ex being with someone else. The thought of this causes us actual physical pain, like an amputation. But unfortunately, most "consultants" out there don't understand this. They focus on treating the mental pain of a breakup, but they don't realize that the pain is actually physical. The hormonal connections we have with our exes are destroyed during a breakup, and it feels like we're losing a part of ourselves. It's a brutal and painful process. So, if it's too painful for you, you can consider getting your ex back - just to feel better. Then, you can decide if you want to continue this particular relationship.

Also, be sure to take a look at our time-tested solution to post-breakup pain: a two-step breakup "painkiller":