Let's discuss the benefits of ignoring their messages:1. You're freed
from constant thoughts about how to reply. You're not obsessed with these stages and various hypothetical situations. It's straightforward: if they wish to reconcile, they will find a way to mend what's broken. That's their responsibility. As evidenced in my practice, if an ex truly wants to reconcile, they will literally show up at your doorstep. A mere ignored message won't deter them.2. It increases
their uncertainty about you and accelerates nostalgia. The lack of information breeds immense curiosity.3. You mitigate
the risk of responding in a way that signifies you're still in a weak (one-down) position, which would repel them. Here's the secret from practice: simply responding to someone who chose to leave, especially if the message isn't about reconciliation, signals dependency. Even a neutral message could be perceived as such.Could ignoring their messages push them away?
While I haven't seen such cases, I believe there's a small possibility. However, an improper response can and will push them away. If they send you a message and you perceive it as a step towards reconciliation, then you reciprocate by moving a step or two towards them (instead of, for example, allowing them space to progress by making a tactical step back), they will pull away. They may even regress to Stage 1 of no contact, where they experience relief from the end of the relationship.
So, in my experience, ignoring any message
except those from Stage 5 is the most efficient recovery strategy.