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Restoring relationships of any complexity
6 MIN READ

3 Steps To Take Immediately After A Breakup

Savva Smith
Entrepreneur, Coach
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How To Avoid Post-Breakup Mistakes That 96% of People Make

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You will learn:

The most common mistake most people make after a breakup
Three simple steps that you can take right after your ex leaves you to ensure speedy recovery (and get your ex back)
Most people try to fight for what they believe is theirs, but the moment your ex leaves you, they are not yours. This only makes things worse. Begging your ex to come back is a common mistake that leads only to regret. It makes your position weaker which leads to a prolonged timelapse of relationship recovery.
One of the 96%
But hey! My friend's friend bought his ex an iPhone and they came back. And another friend finished a rapid course of pole dance and their ex-partner returned, too
Answer:
I know people who try to buy their former partners with cars or even apartments. Then they get rejected again. Remember: your objective value doesn't matter in long-term relationships. In some cases, it can temporarily prolong a dying relationship. The spark between you can only be rekindled by increasing your subjective value.
Of course, it's up to you. Even if you beg them and humiliate yourself, it will still be possible to revive your relationship. But the recommended approach is to be among the top 4% who are different.

The effective method for managing post-breakup anxiety

Handsome guy in trendy suit drinking champagne from bottle and celebrating standing over white background

When your ex leaves you, our options become limited. The most powerful thing you can do is to completely remove yourself from their life. If you're still there for them months after a breakup, how would they miss you?


One of the best ways to recover after a breakup is to go with no contact. This means cutting off all communication and interaction with your ex, including in-person, phone, text, email, and social media. No contact is crucial because it gives you the space and time you need to heal and move on. It also prevents you from being tempted to reach out to your ex, which can prolong the healing process.


If your no contact is effective, in most cases your ex will ping you, and you will have the option to transform your no contact into the ignoring strategy.


However, if you work together or have children together, distancing is the only option. In this case, you should try to have as little contact as possible, and avoid any interaction that is not related to work or your children. If they try to discuss your relationship, you politely refuse. It's challenging to provide a detailed explanation of distancing as it calls for a personalized approach, where we evaluate your specific situation and tailor our actions accordingly.

How to prepare for your no contact

Drunk man in a green robe with a bottle of beer in his hand on a blue background
Don't be afraid to force things and prepare for no contact. Be proactive in cutting ties.
1. Send back all their belongings
2. Return any money you owe them
3. Gather all items that remind you of your ex and keep them in a storage location out of sight
The first two steps will prevent any legitimate ways for them to provoke you. The fewer options they have to force communication with you, the easier it will be for you to recover and potentially rekindle the relationship (if that's what you desire). With less interaction, they will likely experience feelings of nostalgia more quickly. Also, you can use a courier service to minimize interaction.

It's important to note that this doesn't mean blocking them on social media. It's about not initiating contact, not sending messages, or making calls. Blocking them may give the impression that you are angry and it's not necessary. Also, if you've already blocked them, do not unblock them. It's important to avoid sending any signals to them.

You can follow these three steps in order to ensure the effectiveness of your no-contact or ignoring strategy. Is there more we can do? Yes, there are various options for initiating no contact. But, this will be covered in future articles. So, be sure to subscribe and stay informed.
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Key Points

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Begging your ex to come back will not help in the healing process and should be avoided. Also, it won't help you get your ex back.
Going no contact / using the ignoring strategy is an important step in taking control of your healing process
Your no contact will be more efficient if you eliminate legitimate ways for your ex to force interactions between you
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