Will no contact work if my ex lost feelings?

Have you heard some coaches say that no contact only works if your ex still has feelings for you? They believe if your ex doesn't care anymore, then there's no point in trying no contact.

So, what if you're finding it really tough to stick to no contact for a week, or even a month, while your ex doesn't seem bothered? You might be surprised by the answer. So, let's get started:

A lot of people think breakups happen due to clear-cut, logical reasons: maybe you didn't invest enough time, didn't care enough, lacked some necessary traits. Perhaps you made a mistake - like forgetting to buy groceries, or maybe you gained some weight. Perhaps, "you've changed", or conversely, "you haven't changed". The problem with all these reasons we hear when a relationship ends is that, at some point, none of them mattered. They were non-issues during the blissful stages of the relationship. But at a certain, critical moment - a moment we'll discuss shortly - they suddenly became significant!

In some rare cases, your ex might even say that the real reason for the split was that "the spark is gone" or "they're not ready for a serious relationship right now." If you've heard these reasons, consider yourself lucky. They are a lot closer to the real deal.

The truth is, breakups have roots in subjective experiences and perceptions. To put it in plain terms, most relationships end because that initial, magnetic attraction fades away. Remember the early days? When your partner was drawn to you, they overlooked all those things that later became deal-breakers. They just loved you and couldn't picture life without you. However, as that intense attraction diminishes, those once overlooked habits can morph into significant annoyances or even deal-breakers. Depending on your partner's personality, they might start entertaining thoughts of a breakup. And, if your partner is the drama queen/king type, they might even start thinking of ending things the moment the attraction dwindles even slightly. This introspection takes us to an invaluable insight:

If your ex left, they likely already have little to no feelings left. They part ways precisely because they no longer feel that spark. Sometimes, they might even try to hide this fact to spare your feelings. But here's the hard truth: if they still had feelings for you, they'd be right there beside you, and you wouldn't be reading this right now...

But does this mean all hope is lost and the concept of no contact is a sham?

Is reigniting those feelings an impossible task?

Absolutely NOT. And here's why:

It's simple psychology: no contact works because it restores balance between you and your ex. Here's an example to make it clearer: when your ex walks away, your relationship is in a state of ultimate imbalance. You want the relationship, they don't - they're the ones who left. You miss them a lot, they may miss you a bit, but remember - they left. You're emotionally invested, they're not. You might even be chasing them - while they run away.

The moment you initiate no contact, the balance begins to restore. Neither of you is chasing the other. Objectively, you appear to be on equal footing. This equal footing forms the foundation upon which attraction between you two can start to grow again. This is THE REASON why it grows.

The challenge here is that attraction is a subjective thing. It exists in your - and their - minds. For the objective reality - that you're not chasing them - to change their perception, to alter their subjective viewpoint of you, we need a little time. But it will work. Time is on your side.

Now, this might be a lot to digest. But if you grasp these principles, you'll save yourself a lot of time, stress, and money. There's no need for expensive coaching sessions if you understand the fundamentals - why no contact works.