Savva Smith
Entrepreneur, Coach


Why Everything You've Heard About No Contact Might Be Holding You Back


You will learn:

The 3 main myths surrounding the no contact method in relationship recovery
Simple way to evaluate your relationship coach
Imagine your no contact strategy is so powerful that your post-breakup anxiety and pain vanish quickly, and, whether you want it or not, your ex comes knocking at your door. Today, we're debunking 3 myths about "no contact" that could sabotage your chances of a speedy recovery. If your relationship coach believes in any of these myths, brace yourself for trouble.

MYTH#1: No contact is a manipulation tactic

Smiling clown with an umbrella, probably, a relationship coach named Bruce
Truth: Whoever tells you this aims to restrict your personal freedom.
Remember, your attention is a gift. When choosing a partner, you reject countless alternatives because time is a finite resource. You can't regain the time spent with people who don't listen or love you. So, if they don't value your time, you have the right (and even a duty) to stop communicating with them.

MYTH#2: The primary goal of no contact is to get your ex back

A clown with a watering can
Truth: The main objective is personal healing and restoration.
Wanting to recover your relationship is fine if you know what you're doing. However, the ideal option is finding someone who makes you forget about no contact and endless videos about "getting your ex back" (myself included).

MYTH #3: No contact is the only method that can help you heal and recover your relationship

A clown with a broom
Truth: There are multiple approaches to relationship recovery that can effectively help you heal and restore your connection. Though no contact is a popular method, it is not the only one. At least two additional techniques exist, both aimed at influencing the limbic system through unambiguous signals:

  • Ignoring strategy: By intentionally not responding to your ex's attempts to contact you, you establish clear boundaries and demonstrate self-worth. This strategy will prompt your ex to reevaluate their decision and increase their desire to reconnect with you.
  • Distancing: This approach involves creating a healthy emotional and mental distance between you and your ex while maintaining some level of contact. Distancing is an exceptionally potent yet arduous method, frequently employed when no alternative options are available (e.g., working alongside your ex or sharing parental responsibilities). To successfully implement distancing, you must focus on self-improvement and personal growth while consciously detaching yourself from the emotional turmoil associated with your ex.
Another method that some relationship coaches refer to as "smart contact" is similar to distancing. However, this term can be misleading, as it implies maintaining contact rather than establishing distance. The essence of distancing lies in cultivating emotional independence and resilience, which may involve minimal contact but prioritizes your well-being above all else.

By understanding and exploring various relationship recovery techniques, you can determine the best approach for your unique situation. It is essential to recognize that there isn't a one-size-fits-all solution, and choosing the right method should be based on your individual circumstances, emotional state, and ultimate goals.

In the realm of relationship recovery, it is crucial to scrutinize the advice you receive regarding no contact. The reality is that people don't genuinely "move on." Assuming you and your ex shared a genuine connection, they are likely to reappear after their "adventures" have run their course. When that moment arrives, if you have skillfully implemented no contact and successfully regained your strength and confidence, you will have the opportunity to rekindle a relationship on your terms and conditions.


Key Points

Strive to see the true essence of things.
The primary objective of no contact and other relationship recovery methods is to focus on self-improvement, personal growth, and healing rather than merely attempting to win back an ex-partner.
No contact is not the only technique for relationship recovery; alternative methods such as the ignoring strategy and distancing can also be effective, depending on individual circumstances and goals.
Evaluating the advice and expertise of your relationship coach is crucial in ensuring you receive accurate guidance and support throughout the recovery process.